Rediscovering affection

There are lots of things I’m rediscovering here in the Netherlands. It’s sometimes not until you become aware of things again that you realize you have missed them for so long.

One of the beautiful things I am rediscovering after a long time is the joy of being in a place where people publicly display affection, and where the warmth of family and friendship is so obvious.

I noticed it for the first time when I went shopping alone one Friday morning in the city. I was completely overwhelmed by the number of woman shopping with their daughters and their grandchildren. It was so beautiful to watch their interactions, their warmth and the familiarity of the way a grandmother is with her grandchildren.

In the first week I found myself smiling at the young, and old couples walking hand in hand, laughing together and so obviously enjoying just being together. Teenagers kissing not so secretly by the bus stop. Parents gently guiding their little ones as they learnt to ride their bikes alone and children perched delightedly atop their father’s shoulders.

I have shamelessly peered through open windows to watch a family eating dinner together, and stopped to listen as a daughter explains the prices to her elderly mother in the shopping isles.

It’s just so wonderfully the way it is meant to be.

But in Cambodia, display of affection is hidden from public view. I have rarely seen couples walking hand in hand, even in Phnom Penh, or a family simply delighting in one another. That’s not to say that it never happens, and I am sure that at times in the privacy of their own homes, the people do indeed show warmth to each other.

But what I do regularly see, at least in the province, is the shameless way parents chase their children with sticks, and scream at them until the blow finally lands. At times I hear their horrific fighting late at night, watch them walking, weapond in hand down my street. I have even cried at the brokenness of family relationships in a place where it seems there is little time to display love and affection.

But for now, I’m just going to seek opportunities to sit and watch the wonderful world go by.