Esther's Birthday

Today Esther celebrated her 4th birthday.


Not for the first time, I feel that twitch in the deep pit of my stomach that tells me this is all going way too fast. How did she turn four already? Surely it was not so long ago that I wished she slept through the night, wished she would talk and walk and learn to use the potty, wished I didn't need to smash up all her vegetables.


And now, at only four, I feel myself wishing that it could all come back - at least for a few days, so I could hold her in my arms all day and feed her from my own body.


I know it can't possibly be the same, but I can start to imagine how parents can say of grown children - where did the time go?


So I resolve yet again, to live each day with her significantly and not just let it pass by but treasure it. I will read her favourite book over five times in one sitting if she wants to and we have the time. I will listen to her tell me a wonderfully imaginative story, even if I would rather be reading my novel. And I will tell her, over and over again, how precious and special she is to me, and how I am so thankful to God for the gift of her life, given to me.


My precious Esther.